5 Ways #Scientology Could Save Itself After #GoingClear

I am not a Scientologist; never have been, never will be. But after watching HBO’s documentary, “Going Clear,” I think there are ways that Scientology can start to make amends for their batshit craziness. Will it ultimately survive? I hope not. But maybe the members can man up and start thinking for themselves.


1. Voluntarily revoke their tax exempt status as a “religion”

People don’t care if you worship a talking cat from Uranus, if that’s what you want to do. Most people don’t really care if LRH was a nutjob or a Messiah. But people DO care when a “religion” deliberately: falsely and cunningly keeps believers in the dark about the truth of their religion in return for a promise of greater enlightenment down the road; isolates and abuses their followers; and makes a hell of a lot of money doing all of the above.


2. Honestly address the deaths and abuses in the church and make reparations

Lisa McPherson. That name should chasten Scientologists and non-Scientologists alike. A lifelong devotee spiritually and financially, Lisa was sent “to the hole” for punishment, and ended up on a mortuary slab skeleton-thin and covered in bug bites, all on Scientology’s watch. Scientology needs to address the abuses that seem to be rampant throughout the organization, publicly work to make reforms, and put their money where the real needs are, in reparations to the families of its victims.


3. Go fully public with the entire Scientology belief system

We all know about Xenu, the volcanoes and Thetans now anyway. That horse has left the barn, thanks to the South Park, the internet and social media. Stop hiding your real beliefs from your members. Make Scientology an open religion of choice, and stop holding paying members hostage to “an even greater experience” up the ladder. Forget that Scientology members can’t fly, move objects with their minds or heal the world. We’ll leave you in peace if you just stop with the secrecy bullshit and let those who want to believe, believe in peace. And stop with the disconnects already.


4. Replace David Miscavige with a moderate panel of overlords, er, I mean overseers

David Miscavige is one of Scientology’s biggest liabilities. All the disclosures of his physical, emotional and mental abuse leave most thinking people with the impression that he is a little Hitler, using terror and manipulation to control a brainwashed flock of zombie robots. Enough.


5. Cut Tom Cruise loose

Let’s face it: Tom Cruise has jumped on a one-way crazy wagon to LooneyVille. And no one cares about the C, D and E-list “celebrity” Scientologists like John Travolta, Anne Archer, Juliette Lewis and Danny Masterson. Their member-pulling appeal is zero. Tom however, has forgotten why we love him in the first place:

Tom. Cruise. Is. Here. To. Entertain. Us. In. Movies.

Tom’s movies do so well because he’s a good actor. And being a good actor means a big payoff for movie studios. Being a good actor doesn’t mean it’s ok to get a Medal of Valor for nothing when people in your church are being literally worked to death and bled dry financially.

66816After his couch-jumping, black turtleneck period, Tom was lucky to bounce back. He’s even managed to deflect the publicity of ex-wife Katie Holmes running from him in terror and taking their child with her. Why? Because he’s a good entertainer. In movies. Period. People will forgive almost anything if you can act well in movies.

Tom, be thankful for Top Gun, A Few Good Men, and all the other movies that made us love you. You are hanging by a thread though, so please back off from Scientology and go back to what you do best: acting. And think about this: if the big movie studios refused to employ you, how quickly would Scientology drop you?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s